Top Thoughts for 2008

Number 8



Life is sexually transmitted.



Number 7



Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.



Number 6



Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the
Internet and
they won't bother you for weeks.



Number 5



Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you
still can't
help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.



Number 4



Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.


Number 3



All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.


Number 2



In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and
people take Prozac to make it normal.



AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008:We know exactly where one cow with
Mad-cow-disease is
located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't
got a clue
as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should
put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.