Breaking Up With Our New Year Resolutions

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Diva Commandment #4: Thou Shall Love Thyself, Because Thyself is FABULOUS!

Breaking Up With Our New Year Resolutions
Here we are, fifteen days into the New Year, and we – along with most if not all of our Diva pals – have already dropped the proverbial ball on our New Year’s resolutions. But are we bummed out? Nope. Disappointed in ourselves? Never. Saddened by the fact that we’ve overshot our level of willpower yet again? H-E-double-hockey-sticks NO! As Social Divas, if we know anything, we know this: New Year’s resolutions were made to be broken. There’s no shame in that game. And to prove it, we’re going to share the ten resolutions we and our posh posse have already broken – along with our justifications for doing so:
1. Join the Gym – Yeah. Right. Last time we checked, that’s $50 plus dollars a month that would be much better spent on shoes.
2. Quit Eating Chocolate (and other sweets) – That was a great idea, until we saw the dessert table at one of our favorite restaurants. The joy we get from one bite of decadent chocolate mousse is well worth the calories – besides, we’ll just hit the treadmill for an extra twenty to burn off any guilt.
3. Quit Drinking – Life without martinis? We shudder at the thought. Besides – if we quit drinking, how would our favorite bartenders fare financially? Therefore, we continue to cocktail for the good of all people!
4. Get Out of Debt – Our stiletto obsession does not allow us to pay off our credit cards…. So, needless to say, this one is OUT!
5. Clean Out Our Closets – Let’s take a poll. Raise your hand if you thought skinny jeans would ever come back in style. Mmhmm, that’s what we thought. Proving that, in fashion, everything comes back eventually; therefore we should never throw any of our clothes away.
6. Get Organized – We ARE organized, just not in the same way as other people might define ‘organized.’ Just because a stranger wouldn’t be able to find an invoice from February 1995 in the jumble that is our desk, doesn’t mean we can’t.
7. Stop Spending Rent Money on Shoes – …..Wait, hang on, we have to get up off the floor because the thought of this resolution sent us in to such a mental tailspin we literally collapsed.
8. Learn Another Language – We tried. We REALLY did. But we were too distracted by our incredibly hot Italian teacher, Antonio. Ciao!
9. Spend More Time With Family – We thought long and hard about this one, then we thought about how ridiculous our family holiday get-togethers are, and the idea of spending extra time with Grandma Hazel and Grandma Tilly made us think twice about this resolution.
10. Lose 10 Pounds – Why? We’re fabulous just as we are. Plus, if we lost ten, our ultra-glam Gucci pants would no longer fit like the glove that they do now, and that, Divas, would be a crime against the fashion gods themselves.