We know society is in dire straits because...
People clap NO MATTER WHAT Dr. Phil, Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray do/say.
Babies are thrown down stairs in attempted robberies.
Insufferably boring men like Matt Lauer make millions a year as tv personalities.
We care when Prince William and Harry break up with their ho's.
We want to see all the places Britney is bald. Ashamed, but still interested.
We spend our salaries on coffee that takes 10 minutes to order and another 20 to get.
They haven't taken iVillage off the air YET!
WALMARTarians are EVERYWHERE. (Hey, you can get a bra and a gun to put in it at the same time)
Because we think chivalry for men is them actually returning their text messages within 24 hours. ( I always say, if a man can't call he's NOT the guy)
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