1.)Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.)Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.)Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.)Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.)Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.)That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.)Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.)Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9.)Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Which Came First?
Which came first? The job or the drink?
Sometimes it takes a good drink to get the job done!
You can tell them I said so.
Luv,
Vanessa
Sometimes it takes a good drink to get the job done!
You can tell them I said so.
Luv,
Vanessa
It Takes 2.... Minutes to lose him
How to LOSE a guy in 2 minutes....
1. What are you doing tomorrow? Wanna meet my mother?
2. Got any penicillin?
3. How are you with kids? Well, you're about to find out real soon.
4. I really should have used that ointment.
5. I had a wonderful time last night, you didn't touch my rash did you?
6. Does pus gross you out?
7. It's okay, I haven't had an outbreak in over three weeks, I think.
8. Who needs a pill? You can't get pregnant when you already are!
1. What are you doing tomorrow? Wanna meet my mother?
2. Got any penicillin?
3. How are you with kids? Well, you're about to find out real soon.
4. I really should have used that ointment.
5. I had a wonderful time last night, you didn't touch my rash did you?
6. Does pus gross you out?
7. It's okay, I haven't had an outbreak in over three weeks, I think.
8. Who needs a pill? You can't get pregnant when you already are!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
2007 Recap
http://www.jibjab.com/sendables/274/in_2007
Brittney Spears, I challenge you to out do yourself in 2008!!! Bring it on!
Brittney Spears, I challenge you to out do yourself in 2008!!! Bring it on!
Breaking Up With Our New Year Resolutions
Social Diva Newsletter Everywhere
Diva Commandment #4: Thou Shall Love Thyself, Because Thyself is FABULOUS!
Breaking Up With Our New Year Resolutions
Here we are, fifteen days into the New Year, and we – along with most if not all of our Diva pals – have already dropped the proverbial ball on our New Year’s resolutions. But are we bummed out? Nope. Disappointed in ourselves? Never. Saddened by the fact that we’ve overshot our level of willpower yet again? H-E-double-hockey-sticks NO! As Social Divas, if we know anything, we know this: New Year’s resolutions were made to be broken. There’s no shame in that game. And to prove it, we’re going to share the ten resolutions we and our posh posse have already broken – along with our justifications for doing so:
1. Join the Gym – Yeah. Right. Last time we checked, that’s $50 plus dollars a month that would be much better spent on shoes.
2. Quit Eating Chocolate (and other sweets) – That was a great idea, until we saw the dessert table at one of our favorite restaurants. The joy we get from one bite of decadent chocolate mousse is well worth the calories – besides, we’ll just hit the treadmill for an extra twenty to burn off any guilt.
3. Quit Drinking – Life without martinis? We shudder at the thought. Besides – if we quit drinking, how would our favorite bartenders fare financially? Therefore, we continue to cocktail for the good of all people!
4. Get Out of Debt – Our stiletto obsession does not allow us to pay off our credit cards…. So, needless to say, this one is OUT!
5. Clean Out Our Closets – Let’s take a poll. Raise your hand if you thought skinny jeans would ever come back in style. Mmhmm, that’s what we thought. Proving that, in fashion, everything comes back eventually; therefore we should never throw any of our clothes away.
6. Get Organized – We ARE organized, just not in the same way as other people might define ‘organized.’ Just because a stranger wouldn’t be able to find an invoice from February 1995 in the jumble that is our desk, doesn’t mean we can’t.
7. Stop Spending Rent Money on Shoes – …..Wait, hang on, we have to get up off the floor because the thought of this resolution sent us in to such a mental tailspin we literally collapsed.
8. Learn Another Language – We tried. We REALLY did. But we were too distracted by our incredibly hot Italian teacher, Antonio. Ciao!
9. Spend More Time With Family – We thought long and hard about this one, then we thought about how ridiculous our family holiday get-togethers are, and the idea of spending extra time with Grandma Hazel and Grandma Tilly made us think twice about this resolution.
10. Lose 10 Pounds – Why? We’re fabulous just as we are. Plus, if we lost ten, our ultra-glam Gucci pants would no longer fit like the glove that they do now, and that, Divas, would be a crime against the fashion gods themselves.
Diva Commandment #4: Thou Shall Love Thyself, Because Thyself is FABULOUS!
Breaking Up With Our New Year Resolutions
Here we are, fifteen days into the New Year, and we – along with most if not all of our Diva pals – have already dropped the proverbial ball on our New Year’s resolutions. But are we bummed out? Nope. Disappointed in ourselves? Never. Saddened by the fact that we’ve overshot our level of willpower yet again? H-E-double-hockey-sticks NO! As Social Divas, if we know anything, we know this: New Year’s resolutions were made to be broken. There’s no shame in that game. And to prove it, we’re going to share the ten resolutions we and our posh posse have already broken – along with our justifications for doing so:
1. Join the Gym – Yeah. Right. Last time we checked, that’s $50 plus dollars a month that would be much better spent on shoes.
2. Quit Eating Chocolate (and other sweets) – That was a great idea, until we saw the dessert table at one of our favorite restaurants. The joy we get from one bite of decadent chocolate mousse is well worth the calories – besides, we’ll just hit the treadmill for an extra twenty to burn off any guilt.
3. Quit Drinking – Life without martinis? We shudder at the thought. Besides – if we quit drinking, how would our favorite bartenders fare financially? Therefore, we continue to cocktail for the good of all people!
4. Get Out of Debt – Our stiletto obsession does not allow us to pay off our credit cards…. So, needless to say, this one is OUT!
5. Clean Out Our Closets – Let’s take a poll. Raise your hand if you thought skinny jeans would ever come back in style. Mmhmm, that’s what we thought. Proving that, in fashion, everything comes back eventually; therefore we should never throw any of our clothes away.
6. Get Organized – We ARE organized, just not in the same way as other people might define ‘organized.’ Just because a stranger wouldn’t be able to find an invoice from February 1995 in the jumble that is our desk, doesn’t mean we can’t.
7. Stop Spending Rent Money on Shoes – …..Wait, hang on, we have to get up off the floor because the thought of this resolution sent us in to such a mental tailspin we literally collapsed.
8. Learn Another Language – We tried. We REALLY did. But we were too distracted by our incredibly hot Italian teacher, Antonio. Ciao!
9. Spend More Time With Family – We thought long and hard about this one, then we thought about how ridiculous our family holiday get-togethers are, and the idea of spending extra time with Grandma Hazel and Grandma Tilly made us think twice about this resolution.
10. Lose 10 Pounds – Why? We’re fabulous just as we are. Plus, if we lost ten, our ultra-glam Gucci pants would no longer fit like the glove that they do now, and that, Divas, would be a crime against the fashion gods themselves.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)